The Word (John 1)

a Weekend with the Korells

I had a choice to make last week.  Not an epic choice that would determine the fate of the world, but a choice nonetheless.  I could either go on a beach retreat in south Taiwan, called Ken Ting, with a mass quantity of students and all of the teachers, or I could stay in Taichung, my home for the past 6.5 weeks, and explore the city with the Korells.

For most people, this choice would be easy.  A beach retreat in Taiwan with college students or remaining in the same city again with your only company being a family of four, which includes a 2 year old and a 4 year old? The beach should honestly win out every time.  It is an adventure, and it will be fun.

            And the choice was easy for me; the Korells win every time.  For that choice, I might just be mad north, northwest, but then again, you do not know the Korells.  They have not shaped you for the past 6 years as they poured into your life in different roles, from youth ministers to friends to coworkers.  You haven’t had your heart melted by two little kids, even when your heart has sworn that it does not like little kids at all.  You have not met a family that has impacted more people then they could possibly realize, a family whose impact will reach into the next generations.  It is a family I love, a family I want to learn from, and a family I want to be with, so my choice was easy.  And the weekend became one giant adventure as we sought to explore all the nooks and crannies of Taichung City, Taiwan.

            From here on out, I am going to try to summarize all the different adventures we had as we sought a Great Perhaps in our weekend plans.  This is not going to be a sweet story that you would hear around a campfire. This is going to be a scattered version chronologically organized brain vomit that could last a while.  You have now been warned, so please continue with your arms and legs remaining inside the cart at all times.

            Friday involved eating a delicious food named by us ignorant Americans who do not know Chinese as rice triangles.  It is rice made in the shape of a triangle and stuffed with any meat you would like.  Then wrapped in seaweed and dubbed incredibly delicious and mouth watering.  This, combined with a Taiwanese milk tea, was the perfect meal for the moment in infinity. We followed this deliciousness with allowing the kids to play on a playground that is strategically located in front of one of the creepy temples, like you are being watched by one of their gods.  If you can ignore that part, the playground was quite nice and fun.  After the kids went to sleep, Matt and I ventured out to line dance with elder Chinese ladies at a park.  We just went to be silly and have fun, but we quickly became the highlight of the night, as all of the little old Chinese ladies sought to teach these weird white men how to Chinese line dance.  If you can remember to ask, and I remember how, I might be able to show you my mad Chinese line dancing skills some day. The night ended with a conversation on why do people, including myself, like the Hunger Games when they are so twisted and depressing? And then we laughed at the ridiculousness of the new Three Musketeers movie.  Overall, a lovely night.

            Saturday started late because of the need for sleep.  Then Matt and I ventured out to try Eastern Medicine.  We met with the doctor and were asked extremely awkward questions about our bowel movements.  I was informed that my body is extremely low in both Ying and Yang energy, and therefore, I have a lot of problems.  Maybe I am wrong, but this might be because I do not believe in ying or yang energy.  That’s just a guess though.  They proceeded to stick me with 13 needles in acupuncture because of how messed up my energy is.  I had to lay completely still for 30 minutes with 13 needles in my body, and for those of you who know my restless self really well, it is actually possible for me stay still for that long.  It was difficult, but it was possible.  The doctor also prescribed me to take Chinese medicine, which is this lovely mixture of herbs that taste so delectable that I feel like I might die with every bite of the dry, crunchy, bitter powder.  After acupuncture, we went and explored an incredible park in the middle of Taichung.  There we rode stone ponies, climbed a giant goat statue, and laughed a lot.  We went to a night market, something Taiwan is famous for, and enjoyed the shopping and smell of stinky tofu.  Isaiah and I played a new form of “I Spy” which involves touching everything, including people.  Finally, we crashed onto the couches, ate the best desert ever (called Mango Bing), and enjoyed a movie.  You wouldn’t think that was too much, but with two kids and in this heat, everything done is an adventure in itself.

            Sunday would be the busiest day of all. We went to Rainbow Village.  For those of you who are immediately curious about a village called rainbow, it is this old, abandoned military village that an elderly man, who was extremely bored, decided to cover in paint for almost two years.  We followed that up with a trip to the High Speed Train Station where we ate good food, had a scare with Isaiah, shopped a bit at some really weird stores, and rested from the heat.  After, we caught a bus and visited some parks and a sports store.  The first park was simple.  The sports store was ridiculous.  Take a large Wal-Mart, make it completely focused on sports equipment, then stuff it with hundreds of screaming kids like a Chuck E. Cheese, and that was this sports store.  They had a swimming pool, basketball courts, playground, and skating ring outside for public use.  Highlight there: I got to play soccer with a little Taiwanese boy, who was young enough to not realize that I have no clue what I am doing with a soccer ball at my feet.  The second park was the most interesting part of the day.  It had pieces of art and statues everywhere, and most of these somehow found a way to be naked.  The pieces ranged from nursing mothers, to fat, pink people, to abstract monsters, and all of them were naked.  But if you could get past the in your face nudity, the park was awesome, with lakes and bridges, and beautiful lights.  After almost 7 hours of travel and visits, we stopped and rested at a local Tea Shop.  At this teashop, I was blessed with the opportunity to drink a Milk Tea that was over a pint.  I felt like a champion drinking it, and here Sarah, Matt, and I dove into some great conversation about the Spirit of God.  We finally made it home after almost 10 hours of adventure, and crashed on the couch.

            I was sitting on the couch, waiting for the kids to go to sleep, catching up on Wifi, and anticipating our late night House Church service, when all of a sudden, the entire family came into the living room.  They wanted to invite me into one of their family traditions.  I sat on the opposite couch, as they sat all cuddled together, and they began to bless each other. Matt and Sarah blessed the kids and told them how proud they were of them.  The kids blessed Matt and Sarah in adorable ways that only a two year old and four year old could do.  Matt blessed Sarah and Sarah blessed Matt, and then they turned and blessed me.  It was powerful moment; it was an intimate moment, and a moment that reminded me of why I chose to stay back this weekend.  It was an incredible weekend full of adventure and full of an incredible family in the Korells.  A weekend I will not soon forget.

            So I want to leave you with this.  This is not fabricated or filtered; this is truly what has been on my heart as I have thought about what to write.  My adventure is coming to a close soon, and for all of you who have read and followed this seeking of a Great Perhaps, I want to bless you, if you want to receive it.

            “Blessed is the one who transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man (or woman) against whom the Lord counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.” –Psalms 32:1-2.  Thank you for sharing this adventure with me, for taking the time to read this and to care.  Thanks for prayers, support, and love. I pray that God will bless your every step and you will see, taste, feel, and experience his goodness in Jesus Christ.  Alleluia.

Once Upon a Great Perhaps

I just started my ninth book since leaving the states.  I have read 8 books since June 26^th.  I don’t say that to brag.  Actually maybe a little bit, but that is merely because reading this much makes me feel like Lauren Mills, and that in itself is a pretty blessed feeling.  I do say it because I want it to set up a thought in this blog post for you to read because that is how I work.  I ask or say things sometimes just to set up a thought I want to share. Some call that manipulative; I call that persuasive. 

So I started my ninth book today since leaving the states.  The amount of pages and stories that I have read has shocked me, and I began to wonder why I have been on such a reading binge.  There have been nights where I have gotten very little sleep because a story has captivated me, called me, and pushed me to finish the story above all else.  And I have succumbed to that call consistently.  I am not complaining about that at all, just merely noting my sleep deprivation.  Every book has been worth it to me, even the classic The Old Man and The Sea I read last night.

You see, when I am reading, I am literally taken to another world.  My brain has the magical power of transporting my being into the pages, where my conscious leaves the world and begins living in the world created by ink on paper.  I forget time, I forget location, I forget the world.  To show you how true this: when I was headlong into a book called Divergent, you should check it out, I stopped for the night, and suddenly forgot where I was.  It took me a moment to remember that I was laying on the top bunk in my room in an apartment in Taichung, Taiwan.  Reading has become my escape while I am here. 

And too be absolutely honest, I need an escape here at times.  This is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.  Everyday I am challenged; everyday my view of God is stretched, every other day something hard happens.  Recently, one my closest, (re-established while here) friends was forced home because of sickness, and it sucks so much.  There are times were I just want to escape, and the books are my only escape.

But being aware of this, reflecting on this, has given me some hope.  You see, not every book I read is positive, but every book I read teaches me something.  You can ask some of my close friends who are forced to talk to me, I wrestle with themes from these books all the time.  Recently, I have thinking about the concepts of fear as life’s great enemy (Life of Pi) and the impact we make in this world (One Last Thing Before I Go). It is not the positive feelings that help me escape, but it is merely the act of entering in the story and learning through an adventure. 

Along with this, while I do not know these authors who haven’t written the books I have been enjoying, I do know the author who is writing my story.  He has created an incredible world more vibrant then the like of J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis.  He has created characters with more depth then many of the characters I grew up with in Harry Potter. He has written a plot with more power, inspiration, and depth then anything John Green has ever written, and the main character is a better hero then anything I have ever come across in my readings.  He is someone I want to follow, be like, learn from, and passionately love, all wrapped into one man.

 The craziest part of this realization is that I am part of this story.  I was inked in with a role and a sub-plot to the greatest story ever written.  I am part of a love story, an action story, a history, a poem, and so many other genres. And like my books, it doesn’t always mean that everything is happy.  Most of the times, the best books are the ones that have the hardest moments, the ones that leave your mouth open.  That is my story right now.  While I seek a Great Perhaps, I am learning that my story does not always equal the positivity of Clifford the Big Red Dog, but as each new chapter is written, as more depth is added, I am being challenged and stretched.  And as my story is being twisted and turned, taken down different journeys, I am learning more and more.

The thing is, I was wrong the whole time.  Seeking a Great Perhaps does not mean that every adventure will be glorious and the greatest memory every.  I have sought a Great Perhaps all summer, and a lot of these adventures have been hard.  Taiwan is hard; Bonnaroo was hard. Even the book that the quote came from, Looking for Alaska, points to this as it wrestles with the concept of a maze of suffering.  A Great Perhaps does not mean constant happiness, but it does mean that with each new adventure, you will, I will grow, I will learn, and dive deep into the depths of life.  And the greatest thing to come out of this story is that at the end of these Great Perhapses, I will find The Great Perhaps.  And The Great Perhaps is the greatest, most perfect Perhaps of them all.  The most perfect ending to this story I am joyful and passionate to be a part of….

“I go to seek a Great Perhaps.”

Faith and Foosball

First off, I would like to thank everyone at Vanderbilt who has played foosball with me in the past. This list includes Drew Herrmann, Samuel Dobberpuhl, Jordan Ridge, Will Johnston, Charlie Billingsley, and Chris Ammerman. Thanks to you guys for giving me constant practice throughout the past two years because today I became a champion of foosball here at SYME. My teammate, Charity S, and I rolled through the 4 rounds of the tournaments and enjoyed the sweet taste of victory in the form of ice cream. It is a good day to be a champion.

Second, I would like to focus more on something I find serious. I want to discuss faith, because faith is the thought that is bouncing around my mind, trying to escape the confines of my skull.

As Paul writes, faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1). And I can say confidently that there are things I have faith in. “Cause there is faith, and there is sleep, we need to pick one please, because faith is to be awaken, and to be awaken is for us to think, and for us to think is to be alive.”

I have faith that seeking a Great Perhaps leads me to be more alive then I have ever been. I have faith that seasons will come, and every fall and spring, I will be in awe at the amazing colors and brilliant beauty erupting from nature all around me, from Vanderbilt to East Tennessee. I have faith that certain people will always catch me if fall, that list including, but not specifically to, Peter Kenneson, my Family, and Bobby Cannell. I have faith that conversations over coffee have magical components of connections, no matter whom it is with. I have faith in the goals, visions, and ministries of Midnight Worship, United Nashville, and Ethos. I have faith in Jesus, and I am madly in love with him. I have faith in his Spirit that was sent here and is moving constantly in powerful ways throughout this broken world. I have faith that God’s nature is good, holy, perfect, and love. His very nature is love, and his love is something I have passionate faith in. I have faith, but faith leaves me with the question: is it real faith unless you have been challenged and wrestled with what is on the end of this faith? So here I am in Taiwan, wrestling with the character at the receiving end of my passionate faith.

In Isaiah 61:1-3 it says:

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor;
he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
2 to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor,
and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn;
3 to grant to those who mourn in Zion—
to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness,
the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.

And it is in these verses that you begin to see the very nature of the God we have faith in. It is the same passage Jesus would use in his ministry to discuss himself. In these verses you see a God, you see Jesus, who is passionate to help the poor, to comfort the brokenhearted, to bring freedom to those enslaved, to rescue captives from darkness, and so much more. It is this beautiful picture of God that flows from these verses, and it is even more beautiful to me when I recognize it is what Jesus says about himself. He is God and this is what he is passionate about in this world: good news, helping, healing, liberty, rescue, and light.

The thing is that in America, we have a tendency not to recognize all these qualities of Jesus, of God. We see and serve a God who brings good news to poor, and we believe in a God who binds up brokenhearted people. You see this in our homeless ministries, outreach programs, and small groups. We go seek to save the lost, because that is what Jesus calls us to, but rarely do we recognize the power and weight of a God who proclaims liberty to captives, who shines light in dark places where people are born. We taste and experience aspects of this, but we rarely live in it fully. Trust me, in no way am I saying that our focus on the poor and brokenhearted a bad thing. I am merely saying that we rarely have a need for a God who is actually going to free people and fight battles for us in dark places that are more then our internal problems.

But here I am in Taiwan, where there is a temple on every other block. Temples that are dedicated to gods that you would never hear of anywhere else, temples where you can physically feel a presence pressing in on you as you walk past it, temples that make passages from the Bible, like “each national group made its own gods in the several towns where they settled,” come to actual life, and my view of the nature of God is being shifted and stretched. No longer is he just a God of helping poor people and loving on those who aren’t usually loved, but he is a God who shines light in dark places. He is a God who fights against idolatry. A God who literally brings liberty to people in captivity, and as my view of God’s nature is stretched, the line connecting my faith to it is being stretched, twisted, and challenged.

What do you do when your faith is stretched and challenged? What do you do when begin to see God as way bigger then you ever imagined? What do you do when the stories you in read in the Old Testament suddenly begin to make sense because of the culture you are in? And where do you go from here?

As Nashville looms promisingly on the horizon, these are the questions I must face. But I know one thing for certain; one of my prayers at the start of the summer was that by the end of this summer, the summer of 2013, I would be afraid, amazed, and astonished by Jesus. And now as I wrestle with these questions, as my faith is challenged and grown, as my view of Jesus is expanded, I have begun to see Jesus answering that prayer all around me. And I can’t wait to see what Great Perhaps he takes me on next.

Street evangelism??

Confession number one: I realize this is a random blog post that does not follow my typical once a week, most likely Monday, routine.

Confession number two: I don’t care. When there is something to write, I have to write it.  It helps me process my thoughts, and, as some of you know by now, if I can’t process my thoughts, I have a tendency to explode in a mess of brain vomit and emotion.

Confession number three: I hate street evangelism, with a passion.  I have always disliked it strongly, especially when it is required.  I think it is dumb to force people to have to randomly talk to strangers about Jesus. I think it is dumb to teach techniques about how to talk about Jesus; I believe it has a tendency to take away the power and dependency of the Spirit. I think street evangelism is too focused on just presenting Jesus as efficiently as possible, and not focused on the main point, making disciples and teaching them to do everything Jesus commanded us.  Also, I realize, that as I am writing this, I could easily get a lot of backlash from people who are passionate about street evangelism.  So I want to clarify one point.  While I do not like street evangelism, I do believe God uses everything to good of those who love him.  I do believe that God’s will is for people to know Jesus, no matter how it happens.  So my opinions are merely my opinions, and they do not take away from the power of God moving in different things, like street evangelism.

And so, that leads me to tonight.  Tonight, I had to take my family group to the local Wal-Mart/Mall/Grocery/Outlet Store/Family Restaurant/Four Story mega-building called Carrefour to do street evangelism.  And, quickly, for those of you who have gotten this far and are still confused on what street evangelism is, I apologize. A quick definition is that street evangelism is where you walk up to random strangers with the sole purpose of telling them the gospel.  Okay, there you go, now we are on the same page. Back to the story.  Tonight, I had to take my six family group members, two of who are not Christians, to Carrefour and send them out to do street evangelism to the people there.  On top of not liking street evangelism, the major language barrier that is created by the simple fact that I, a born and raised Tennessee boy who speaks English, am living in Chinese-speaking Taichung, Taiwan for months, limits my ability to support my students by doing street evangelism with them. Instead, I am left to sit, watch, and try to support in other ways.

Needless to say, I was not looking forward to tonight.  I was trying to think of any possible way to escape this assignment. Maybe I could take my students out just to talk about faith.  Maybe I could get sick, and bum my students off on another teacher.  But, after talking to one of the wisest friends and mentors I know, Matt Korell, and being reminded that God works no matter what the situation is, I ended up setting up in the food court of Carrefour.  I set down, sent my students out, and began to pray, because it was the only thing I could.

There I am, in the middle of a crowded, Asian food court, unable to speak the language, drinking my Oolong Milk Tea (a Taiwanese favorite), watching my students disperse in twos, and I just began to pray because it was truly the only thing I could do. And it was in that moment that God began to rock my world.  I just began pouring my prayers onto the pages of my journal. It was like my brain was bleeding ink onto pages and pages.  I prayed for God to move in mighty ways.  I prayed that we would not leave that area unchanged.  I prayed for a double portion of the Holy Spirit to be poured out in that hour.  I prayed for confidence and the right words for the guys. I prayed that God would teach my whining heart, and so much more was prayed in the pages of that journal.

And I watched as God answered my prayers before my eyes.  I watched, as two timid students got passionate and supernaturally confident about talking to Jesus.  I watched them sit and talk with different people for long periods of time.  I watched as they gave out two bibles to people on different walks of life who wanted to know more about this Jesus guy.  I watched as a firm, non-Christian used the English school we are attending as an avenue to talk about Jesus.  I listened as God moved in their lives.  I saw their eyes light up after sharing.  I saw them embrace the challenge of being rejected, learn from it, and pursue sharing harder.  I watched God move, and I felt God move in me.  I felt him remind me the power of prayer as I set their stationed at the table just praying for over an hour for the Holy Spirit to move.  I felt him remind me that even when I don’t understand or agree with something, someone, or a technique, it doesn’t mean that he cannot use it for his glory.  I felt him remind me that he has a heart and love for the people of Taiwan, just as he has a heart for the people of England, Africa, America, Nashville, Ethos, Midnight Worship, Vanderbilt, and so on. I felt him remind me in the lyrics of a song:

“Forever change me/ Just one glimpse, one taste of your love/ And I stare straight into the eyes/ To burn with love for me/ The most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen/
And everything inside of me just want to give/ All I, all my love for you my beautiful King/ Forever, forever you change me”

the beauty, majesty, wonder, power, glory, love, passion, grace, and so much more that is my God and my King, and I just wept.  I wept proudly in the middle of an Asian food court in Taiwan, because I have seen the most beautiful eyes.  I have seen the eyes of Jesus. I have fallen in love with him, felt him change me, and feel that desire to give everything inside of me to my beautiful King. And in the moment, his glory and love was being declared fully.

After night, this I know, God is moving.  He is moving here in Taiwan; He is moving in America; He is moving in this world.  And we just have to trust that above all else, his will, his perfect, pleasing, and good will, will be done, and Jesus will be declared above all else. When this happens, we will see this come to true:

“It shall come to pass in the latter days
    that the mountain of the house of the Lord
shall be established as the highest of the mountains,
    and shall be lifted up above the hills;
and all the nations shall flow to it,”

Isaiah 2:2

And I personally cannot wait for that day to happen.

Random Thoughts and Stinky Tofu

Every time I write one of these I want to be as creative as possible and bury as much meaning as I can within every word.  It is just who I am; its how God has wired me, but if I honestly tried to do that with every blog post, there probably wouldn’t be very many blog posts.  This is simply because there is so much going on here, my mind has a hard time focusing and connecting to themes.  Instead, I just want to throw mind vomit all over this page and hope who ever is unfortunate enough to read this can process the mass quantity and craziness of my thoughts.  Therefore, you are warned now, the following subject is messy mind vomit that might contain smells as raunchy as Stinky Tofu

-This weekend we visited Sun Moon Lake.  It was beautiful with incredible hiking and boating.  I was blessed to eat traditional Taiwanese food like a whole, boiling fish, small, crunchy shrimps with their shells still attached, and some steamed bamboo.  The hike was incredible, and Taiwanese people clearly do not enjoy exercising in the heat, because I thought my students were going to die the whole time as the sweated, breathed hard, and complained. Pictures can be found on Facebook if you are feeling really bored.

-Language barriers and Christianese.  Have you every tried to explain the truth of Jesus to someone who struggles to speak English? Have you tried it when you have a lovely East Tennessee accent, which my wonderful friend Bobby can mimic quite well? Have you ever had to explain terms like salvation, repentance, and threshing floor in basic terms? It is freaking hard, and it has constantly reminded me how complicated we make the Gospel and faith.  In the end it is so simple, its about God sending Jesus to die for us so that we can be with him forever.  It is the ultimate love story and let’s not forget that fact. 

-One of the favorites of my friend Alexa while here is to climb everything she sees.  Her excuse for this is that she is a foreigner, and she does not speak Chinese.  Oddly enough it has worked quite well as we have climbed a large elephant statue in front of a temple, posed like the Titanic on the front of a moving boat, and swung from the hanging drumstick of a large drum at the temple.  Remember, if anyone asks, just shake your head and say you don’t speak Chinese.

-I’m on my fourth book in three weeks while being here, and I have written at least 5 poems.  My mind is on hyper drive when it comes to literature and language, and I am not complaining about this at all.  My reading class is having a competition with me to see who can read the most pages in one week.  Guess who is winninng….

-My students have nicked named my Captain America.  One, I have absolutely no problem with this what so ever.  Two, I haven’t had many nicknames in my life, so this one just feels perfect.  Go ‘Merica.

-Tea here is absolutely amazing.  It is a staple of their diet, and it is addicting.  I have tried everything from Oolong tea to Milk Tea.  The fruit tea from Mr. Wish puts Pal’s to shame (I can’t believe I just said that), and I will never be able to order my Route 44 Diet Mango Green Tea from Sonic after having tasted real Mango Green Tea here.

-Meanwhile, I am a growing boy, and the food has a tendency to always leave me hungry.  I guess I just need to drink more tea to fill my belly.

-I leave with you these two things both about God moving here.

1. One of my students brought me to tears on Thursday.  We had been discussing how much he is worth in the eyes of Jesus.  He has struggled with the concept, and seeing as I have spent almost half of my life now wrestling with depression, I feel like I could relate.  I shared with him that God says he has so much worth that he is now priceless.  I also shared a truth that has shaped my life: We are God-designed, purpose-intended, significant, lavishly-loved, prince/princess, son/daughter of the King of the Universe.  He proceeded to share these truthes to the entire student body here in a talk he gave at Chapel.  God has been constantly reminding us in the past week his love for us through things like that.

2. One of my prayers I would like you to join me is simply this: Pray that the Spirit of God fills SYME to much that when random people walk in off the street, they are impacted, and that none of us, teachers or students, leave without loving Jesus more and more.  God is moving, and we are following his lead.  Join me in this.

“Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: ‘I am the Lord your God, who teaches you to profit, who leads you in the way you should go.”

                                                                                                                        -Isaiah 41:17