Faith and Foosball

First off, I would like to thank everyone at Vanderbilt who has played foosball with me in the past. This list includes Drew Herrmann, Samuel Dobberpuhl, Jordan Ridge, Will Johnston, Charlie Billingsley, and Chris Ammerman. Thanks to you guys for giving me constant practice throughout the past two years because today I became a champion of foosball here at SYME. My teammate, Charity S, and I rolled through the 4 rounds of the tournaments and enjoyed the sweet taste of victory in the form of ice cream. It is a good day to be a champion.

Second, I would like to focus more on something I find serious. I want to discuss faith, because faith is the thought that is bouncing around my mind, trying to escape the confines of my skull.

As Paul writes, faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1). And I can say confidently that there are things I have faith in. “Cause there is faith, and there is sleep, we need to pick one please, because faith is to be awaken, and to be awaken is for us to think, and for us to think is to be alive.”

I have faith that seeking a Great Perhaps leads me to be more alive then I have ever been. I have faith that seasons will come, and every fall and spring, I will be in awe at the amazing colors and brilliant beauty erupting from nature all around me, from Vanderbilt to East Tennessee. I have faith that certain people will always catch me if fall, that list including, but not specifically to, Peter Kenneson, my Family, and Bobby Cannell. I have faith that conversations over coffee have magical components of connections, no matter whom it is with. I have faith in the goals, visions, and ministries of Midnight Worship, United Nashville, and Ethos. I have faith in Jesus, and I am madly in love with him. I have faith in his Spirit that was sent here and is moving constantly in powerful ways throughout this broken world. I have faith that God’s nature is good, holy, perfect, and love. His very nature is love, and his love is something I have passionate faith in. I have faith, but faith leaves me with the question: is it real faith unless you have been challenged and wrestled with what is on the end of this faith? So here I am in Taiwan, wrestling with the character at the receiving end of my passionate faith.

In Isaiah 61:1-3 it says:

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor;
he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
2 to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor,
and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn;
3 to grant to those who mourn in Zion—
to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness,
the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.

And it is in these verses that you begin to see the very nature of the God we have faith in. It is the same passage Jesus would use in his ministry to discuss himself. In these verses you see a God, you see Jesus, who is passionate to help the poor, to comfort the brokenhearted, to bring freedom to those enslaved, to rescue captives from darkness, and so much more. It is this beautiful picture of God that flows from these verses, and it is even more beautiful to me when I recognize it is what Jesus says about himself. He is God and this is what he is passionate about in this world: good news, helping, healing, liberty, rescue, and light.

The thing is that in America, we have a tendency not to recognize all these qualities of Jesus, of God. We see and serve a God who brings good news to poor, and we believe in a God who binds up brokenhearted people. You see this in our homeless ministries, outreach programs, and small groups. We go seek to save the lost, because that is what Jesus calls us to, but rarely do we recognize the power and weight of a God who proclaims liberty to captives, who shines light in dark places where people are born. We taste and experience aspects of this, but we rarely live in it fully. Trust me, in no way am I saying that our focus on the poor and brokenhearted a bad thing. I am merely saying that we rarely have a need for a God who is actually going to free people and fight battles for us in dark places that are more then our internal problems.

But here I am in Taiwan, where there is a temple on every other block. Temples that are dedicated to gods that you would never hear of anywhere else, temples where you can physically feel a presence pressing in on you as you walk past it, temples that make passages from the Bible, like “each national group made its own gods in the several towns where they settled,” come to actual life, and my view of the nature of God is being shifted and stretched. No longer is he just a God of helping poor people and loving on those who aren’t usually loved, but he is a God who shines light in dark places. He is a God who fights against idolatry. A God who literally brings liberty to people in captivity, and as my view of God’s nature is stretched, the line connecting my faith to it is being stretched, twisted, and challenged.

What do you do when your faith is stretched and challenged? What do you do when begin to see God as way bigger then you ever imagined? What do you do when the stories you in read in the Old Testament suddenly begin to make sense because of the culture you are in? And where do you go from here?

As Nashville looms promisingly on the horizon, these are the questions I must face. But I know one thing for certain; one of my prayers at the start of the summer was that by the end of this summer, the summer of 2013, I would be afraid, amazed, and astonished by Jesus. And now as I wrestle with these questions, as my faith is challenged and grown, as my view of Jesus is expanded, I have begun to see Jesus answering that prayer all around me. And I can’t wait to see what Great Perhaps he takes me on next.

Street evangelism??

Confession number one: I realize this is a random blog post that does not follow my typical once a week, most likely Monday, routine.

Confession number two: I don’t care. When there is something to write, I have to write it.  It helps me process my thoughts, and, as some of you know by now, if I can’t process my thoughts, I have a tendency to explode in a mess of brain vomit and emotion.

Confession number three: I hate street evangelism, with a passion.  I have always disliked it strongly, especially when it is required.  I think it is dumb to force people to have to randomly talk to strangers about Jesus. I think it is dumb to teach techniques about how to talk about Jesus; I believe it has a tendency to take away the power and dependency of the Spirit. I think street evangelism is too focused on just presenting Jesus as efficiently as possible, and not focused on the main point, making disciples and teaching them to do everything Jesus commanded us.  Also, I realize, that as I am writing this, I could easily get a lot of backlash from people who are passionate about street evangelism.  So I want to clarify one point.  While I do not like street evangelism, I do believe God uses everything to good of those who love him.  I do believe that God’s will is for people to know Jesus, no matter how it happens.  So my opinions are merely my opinions, and they do not take away from the power of God moving in different things, like street evangelism.

And so, that leads me to tonight.  Tonight, I had to take my family group to the local Wal-Mart/Mall/Grocery/Outlet Store/Family Restaurant/Four Story mega-building called Carrefour to do street evangelism.  And, quickly, for those of you who have gotten this far and are still confused on what street evangelism is, I apologize. A quick definition is that street evangelism is where you walk up to random strangers with the sole purpose of telling them the gospel.  Okay, there you go, now we are on the same page. Back to the story.  Tonight, I had to take my six family group members, two of who are not Christians, to Carrefour and send them out to do street evangelism to the people there.  On top of not liking street evangelism, the major language barrier that is created by the simple fact that I, a born and raised Tennessee boy who speaks English, am living in Chinese-speaking Taichung, Taiwan for months, limits my ability to support my students by doing street evangelism with them. Instead, I am left to sit, watch, and try to support in other ways.

Needless to say, I was not looking forward to tonight.  I was trying to think of any possible way to escape this assignment. Maybe I could take my students out just to talk about faith.  Maybe I could get sick, and bum my students off on another teacher.  But, after talking to one of the wisest friends and mentors I know, Matt Korell, and being reminded that God works no matter what the situation is, I ended up setting up in the food court of Carrefour.  I set down, sent my students out, and began to pray, because it was the only thing I could.

There I am, in the middle of a crowded, Asian food court, unable to speak the language, drinking my Oolong Milk Tea (a Taiwanese favorite), watching my students disperse in twos, and I just began to pray because it was truly the only thing I could do. And it was in that moment that God began to rock my world.  I just began pouring my prayers onto the pages of my journal. It was like my brain was bleeding ink onto pages and pages.  I prayed for God to move in mighty ways.  I prayed that we would not leave that area unchanged.  I prayed for a double portion of the Holy Spirit to be poured out in that hour.  I prayed for confidence and the right words for the guys. I prayed that God would teach my whining heart, and so much more was prayed in the pages of that journal.

And I watched as God answered my prayers before my eyes.  I watched, as two timid students got passionate and supernaturally confident about talking to Jesus.  I watched them sit and talk with different people for long periods of time.  I watched as they gave out two bibles to people on different walks of life who wanted to know more about this Jesus guy.  I watched as a firm, non-Christian used the English school we are attending as an avenue to talk about Jesus.  I listened as God moved in their lives.  I saw their eyes light up after sharing.  I saw them embrace the challenge of being rejected, learn from it, and pursue sharing harder.  I watched God move, and I felt God move in me.  I felt him remind me the power of prayer as I set their stationed at the table just praying for over an hour for the Holy Spirit to move.  I felt him remind me that even when I don’t understand or agree with something, someone, or a technique, it doesn’t mean that he cannot use it for his glory.  I felt him remind me that he has a heart and love for the people of Taiwan, just as he has a heart for the people of England, Africa, America, Nashville, Ethos, Midnight Worship, Vanderbilt, and so on. I felt him remind me in the lyrics of a song:

“Forever change me/ Just one glimpse, one taste of your love/ And I stare straight into the eyes/ To burn with love for me/ The most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen/
And everything inside of me just want to give/ All I, all my love for you my beautiful King/ Forever, forever you change me”

the beauty, majesty, wonder, power, glory, love, passion, grace, and so much more that is my God and my King, and I just wept.  I wept proudly in the middle of an Asian food court in Taiwan, because I have seen the most beautiful eyes.  I have seen the eyes of Jesus. I have fallen in love with him, felt him change me, and feel that desire to give everything inside of me to my beautiful King. And in the moment, his glory and love was being declared fully.

After night, this I know, God is moving.  He is moving here in Taiwan; He is moving in America; He is moving in this world.  And we just have to trust that above all else, his will, his perfect, pleasing, and good will, will be done, and Jesus will be declared above all else. When this happens, we will see this come to true:

“It shall come to pass in the latter days
    that the mountain of the house of the Lord
shall be established as the highest of the mountains,
    and shall be lifted up above the hills;
and all the nations shall flow to it,”

Isaiah 2:2

And I personally cannot wait for that day to happen.

Random Thoughts and Stinky Tofu

Every time I write one of these I want to be as creative as possible and bury as much meaning as I can within every word.  It is just who I am; its how God has wired me, but if I honestly tried to do that with every blog post, there probably wouldn’t be very many blog posts.  This is simply because there is so much going on here, my mind has a hard time focusing and connecting to themes.  Instead, I just want to throw mind vomit all over this page and hope who ever is unfortunate enough to read this can process the mass quantity and craziness of my thoughts.  Therefore, you are warned now, the following subject is messy mind vomit that might contain smells as raunchy as Stinky Tofu

-This weekend we visited Sun Moon Lake.  It was beautiful with incredible hiking and boating.  I was blessed to eat traditional Taiwanese food like a whole, boiling fish, small, crunchy shrimps with their shells still attached, and some steamed bamboo.  The hike was incredible, and Taiwanese people clearly do not enjoy exercising in the heat, because I thought my students were going to die the whole time as the sweated, breathed hard, and complained. Pictures can be found on Facebook if you are feeling really bored.

-Language barriers and Christianese.  Have you every tried to explain the truth of Jesus to someone who struggles to speak English? Have you tried it when you have a lovely East Tennessee accent, which my wonderful friend Bobby can mimic quite well? Have you ever had to explain terms like salvation, repentance, and threshing floor in basic terms? It is freaking hard, and it has constantly reminded me how complicated we make the Gospel and faith.  In the end it is so simple, its about God sending Jesus to die for us so that we can be with him forever.  It is the ultimate love story and let’s not forget that fact. 

-One of the favorites of my friend Alexa while here is to climb everything she sees.  Her excuse for this is that she is a foreigner, and she does not speak Chinese.  Oddly enough it has worked quite well as we have climbed a large elephant statue in front of a temple, posed like the Titanic on the front of a moving boat, and swung from the hanging drumstick of a large drum at the temple.  Remember, if anyone asks, just shake your head and say you don’t speak Chinese.

-I’m on my fourth book in three weeks while being here, and I have written at least 5 poems.  My mind is on hyper drive when it comes to literature and language, and I am not complaining about this at all.  My reading class is having a competition with me to see who can read the most pages in one week.  Guess who is winninng….

-My students have nicked named my Captain America.  One, I have absolutely no problem with this what so ever.  Two, I haven’t had many nicknames in my life, so this one just feels perfect.  Go ‘Merica.

-Tea here is absolutely amazing.  It is a staple of their diet, and it is addicting.  I have tried everything from Oolong tea to Milk Tea.  The fruit tea from Mr. Wish puts Pal’s to shame (I can’t believe I just said that), and I will never be able to order my Route 44 Diet Mango Green Tea from Sonic after having tasted real Mango Green Tea here.

-Meanwhile, I am a growing boy, and the food has a tendency to always leave me hungry.  I guess I just need to drink more tea to fill my belly.

-I leave with you these two things both about God moving here.

1. One of my students brought me to tears on Thursday.  We had been discussing how much he is worth in the eyes of Jesus.  He has struggled with the concept, and seeing as I have spent almost half of my life now wrestling with depression, I feel like I could relate.  I shared with him that God says he has so much worth that he is now priceless.  I also shared a truth that has shaped my life: We are God-designed, purpose-intended, significant, lavishly-loved, prince/princess, son/daughter of the King of the Universe.  He proceeded to share these truthes to the entire student body here in a talk he gave at Chapel.  God has been constantly reminding us in the past week his love for us through things like that.

2. One of my prayers I would like you to join me is simply this: Pray that the Spirit of God fills SYME to much that when random people walk in off the street, they are impacted, and that none of us, teachers or students, leave without loving Jesus more and more.  God is moving, and we are following his lead.  Join me in this.

“Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: ‘I am the Lord your God, who teaches you to profit, who leads you in the way you should go.”

                                                                                                                        -Isaiah 41:17

To Do: Drink Coffee

Monday’s in Taiwan are my “To Do” days.  They are the days when I don’t teach, and I get to take time to myself and get crap done.  I love these days for multiple reasons: (1.) I get time away by myself to recharge and prepare, which is needed, as I have lately discovered that I am actually an introvert who is highly sociable, (2.) I get to mark things off my to do list, which brings me more joy then a lot of other things could possible bring me, (3.) I love coffee shops.  In Nashville, my Saturday’s are usually my “To Do” days, and I typically fill those afternoons with a different coffee shop, a cup of black coffee (iced or hot depending on the weather), work to do, and every once and a while, a friend who wants to tag along.  Somehow, I always find my way to a coffee shop on a Saturday to get things done, so where else would you expect me to be on my Monday’s here in Taiwan? I am sitting in lovely coffee shop, drinking a delicious iced coffee because it is always freaking hot in Taiwan, and completing my “To Do” list for the week.

Along with completing my to do list, the other thing I love to do in my coffee shops is to dive deep into the word, my journal of thoughts, and Jesus.  In these moments, it’s as if Jesus and I are having a conversation over a cup of coffee. A conversation in which I reflect upon all he has done lately, all he has taught me, and in which he prepares me for what is coming.  So today, as I sit sipping on my cup of coffee, listening to Twenty One Pilots, and reflecting on Jesus, I thought I would share some of the things he is doing lately:

1.     He is drawing non-believers to him.  We have about half of our students who do not know Jesus at all.  Some of them had never heard of the name of Jesus or the Bible until two weeks ago when they came to SYME.  Now, each day, they are reading the bible for homework and discussing Jesus in classes like Life of Christ.  Already it is cool to see what Jesus is doing with that time.  One of our students, whose sister recently accepted Christ, went to church for one of the first times and came back talking about how much he learned.  Another student is learning what it means to be God-designed, purpose-intended, significant, lavishly-loved, prince, and son of the King of the Universe.  Several of the students are asking questions, deep questions, and you can see their eyes light up as they study the word and encounter Jesus for the first time.  And that is the key, and something I truly believe, when people encounter Jesus, the real Jesus, they are drawn to him and they are changed.  It is what has shaped my life in the past two years.  I began to see, understand, and study the real Jesus, the Jesus from the bible, not the Jesus from our dead-religion, and I have fallen madly in love with him because Jesus is an incredible, life saving, truth baring, grace showing, man.  If you don’t believe me, try it for yourself.  The reality of Jesus changes people. It changed me, and it is rapidly changing the lives of students here.

2.     He is teaching his followers daily.  Whether its from a Secret Church on Angels, Demons, and Spiritual Warfare, which some of the staff did on Friday night, or through personal encounters with him, Christ is teaching all of us something.  I have learned about endurance, and the importance of a quiet time just to make it through a day.  I have learned what it actually looks like to pray continuously, because here, you need to pray constantly and continuously.  By spending so much time with Matt and Sarah’s kids, I have learned how different the bible looks when seen through the eyes of child.  Because of the language barrier, I have learned how complicated we tend to make the gospel through our use of Christianese.  The gospel is simple: “For God so loved the world, he sent his only son, that whoever believes him shall not die but have everlasting life.”  It is all about Jesus, it always has been, and it always will be. Jesus is reminding me not to forget that key message.

3.     He is teaching me how fun seeking a Great Perhaps actually his when you are already seeking The Great Perhaps in him.  I have now officially survived a typhoon (hurricane), eaten strange food like sea urchin (I still refuse to eat the Stinky Tofu), gotten lost, created relationships with people around the world, (from Brazil to Taiwan), attended a Chinese church, and seen that Jesus is still Jesus around the world.  He is moving, he is loving, he is saving, and he is inviting us in to seek the Great Perhaps. This question is always, will you join him?

So I leave you with this:

“We proclaim to you that which we have seen and heard, so that you may have fellowship with us, and our fellowship is with the Father and his son Jesus Christ.”

                                                                                                            -1 John 1:3

“I go to seek a Great Perhaps.”

Will Power

will  

/wil/

Verb

1.     Intend, desire, or wish (something) to happen: "he was doing what the saint willed".

2.     to purpose, determine on, or elect, by an act of will: If he wills success, he can find it.

3.     to exercise the will: To will is not enough, one must do.

Noun

1.     The faculty by which a person decides on and initiates action: "she has an iron will".

2.     the faculty of conscious and especially of deliberate action; the power of control the mind has over its own actions: the freedom of the will.

3.     power of choosing one's own actions: to have a strong or a weak will.

Will.  This is the word that has been running through my mind like a Kenyan training for a marathon.  This is especially true now that the focus topic of the week at SYME (School of Youth Ministry in English) is the will of God.  The issue for me is that when my mind gets a topic trapped in it, I will think about it over and over, analyzing it in as many different angles as I can.  Some of you already know this about me.  So needless to say, the concept of will has been wrestled and contemplated over many, many times, and I think two of the definitions above clearly help present my thoughts and what has happened in the past week of SYME.

1.     Will (verb)à the faculty of conscious and especially of deliberate action; the power of control the mind has over its own actions. 

Here is what I have learned: my will power might be bi-polar.  There are things that I can will into place.  I can enforce my will in my classroom, controlling the tempo, pace, and information.  I can make it entertaining when I need, and strict and boring when necessary. I can push Jesus when needed, and push English when needed.  I can enforce my will in my conversations.  I can dictate what is shared and how much is shared simply by the questions I ask.  I can choose not to share, or when to share.  There are aspects of this trip that I can will to happen and control. 

Then there are the things my will fails at completely, like my struggles, my depression, pride, etc.  With these things, I can’t simply impose my will to control.  There are times where I feel completely helpless, like my struggles are imposing their will on me, and it is in these moments, that I know Satan is pressing in, trying to impede what God is doing here.  Which leads me to the next definition:

2.     Will (noun)à Intend, desire, or wish (something) to happen. 

            What is God’s will? What is God’s will for me in this trip? And how can I follow God’s will if my own will is so weak and helpless? These are questions I wrestle with daily.  I wrestle with my purpose here.  I wrestle with having to endure one of the most challenging adventures I have ever had everyday. Everyday I have to submit to God’s will and believe that it has brought me here for purpose.  Everyday I have found myself desperately needing to dive into the depths of Jesus simply to prepare me for the day; to prepare me to complete his daily will for my life.

 It is in these moments: these moments staring at the beauty of Jesus; these moments of having the scriptures blow my mind daily; these moments where I get to laugh, love, and share life with these incredible students; the moments where I get to talk about Jesus to people who, until a week ago, have never heard of the name of my Lord and King.  It is in these moments, and so many more, that I am reminded that the will of God is good, pleasing, and perfect, even when it is challenging.  It is in these moments that I am reminded of when Jesus had to submit to the will of God, despite the cost, just to save me. 

Yes, my heart is not passionately in love with the nation of Taiwan, but my heart is passionately in love with Jesus and for what he cares about. And he wills that all will taste and see his glory and goodness, from Nashville all the way to Taiwan. He wills for the lost to be found, for the broken to be healed, and the neglected to be loved.  He wills for people like my students to know him.  He wills for people to be saved, and it was his will that brought me to my knees.  It is his will that saved me, that changed my life, and which led me to fall madly in love with this guy from Nazareth named Jesus. And for that reason, I will continue to submit to his will and trust and believe it is all worth it in the end.

So I leave you this:

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

                                                                        -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18